say a lil prayer.

sometimes i asked God if it was meant for me to suffer all these, false hopes, so that I cherish what i have and not take things for granted.

sometimes, things just dont go as I plan for it to be, and honestly, it's been really hard on me. I'm tired.

but i believe, that even it it's tough, it's God's plan for me. I have to go through it.

but is this true? It's really to rough for me, at this point of time. i'm really tired. really.

blessed.

probably had the best birthday for the past 6 years. past 2 years was having exams, 07 was sailing, 06 was in OCS, 04/05 was in OAC june camp.

told myself that i wouldn't touch any work this weekend and i did it! :) went bicester on saturday, bought a pair of sandals and CK. then went oxford to meet dorcas for dinner (really last minute/impromptu). had dinner at Jamie's and Jamie Oliver. She met some of my really food polo friends, and glad that they are getting along really well, well at least my friends really like her. :)

Went for the 9.30am service at allsouls this morning, (kinda) met up with yy right before that (more of she tapped my shoulder than me noticing her) cos she wanted to pass me my polaroid. sat with her for the entire service. :) i think she's a really nice girl, but don't really know her well. how shld i go on? =P Daniel came slightly later for the service. after service, took a loooong walk through regent's park with dan and headed for camden town for my sushi birthday lunch! the sushi buffet was awesome. the sashimi was soooooooo fresh, awesome. really good. finally had the chance to let my imperial (singaporean) friends to meet my polo friends. :) then went for training. :) then hang around pub with the people, and with dan and mike for a longer time, watching england vs ROW (rest of the world, yes, i know right! =P). then me and dan attempted to roam around leceister sq to find a movie to watch, but sadly london, no movies after 9pm on a sunday! how sad is that! then finally reached home and flooded with fb posts.

some rough patches for the birthday weekend but i told myself that i must not let these affect me. i did it. so basically hsbc closed my current account, and moved all my money to my savers. cant withdraw any money and cant transfer money unless i call them up to add the payees. the other bank has like £235 overdraft. =/ sooooo kinda screwed for the weekend. then while i attempted to withdraw money from my bank, my card got retained!!! zzz but luckily carmen saved my entire birthday weekend by lending me her card! :) I think i'm really blessed with good friends. :)

one more rough patch was a team mate just decided not to turn up for training after the lunch, without the courtesy of telling me. but i had to keep telling myself not to be affected. i glad it didnt really, but i still feel a little unhappy about it.

oh well, it has been a really good birthday weekend, though not happening, but i'm happy. good food, good friends, good company :). best of all, no work/exams! =D blessed i am, thank you God. :)

endure.

about more days to go. tanyoucai, ENDURE.

lost.

finally it's easter term break. but it doesn't feel like a break at all. 4 weeks to my first paper. and 4 weeks (minus 1 day) to BUCS (the most important polo tournament of the year). wth. how do i cope with all these?

4 weeks without training? 4 weeks to do 7 papers? living in my own cave with no money? sigh. FML.

against all odds.

why are all these happening to me! what have i done wrong to deserve all this. Why does God have to punish me in every way.

do i really deserve all these?

please guide me through all these. :(

in a blink of eye.

exactly seven years ago, something great happened. come to think of it, i was really being foolish to let her go.

now, i feel like a real jerk. God, please guide me. please.

what's wrong seriously?!

i don't know what wrong with me. I had it all planned out 3 weeks ago. I planned that I am going to study and finish up my coursework for this 3-weeks long Christmas break. But now, 2 days to the start of school, which is the dateline of my coursework and my first business exam paper. yet, i've not really done anything productive about it. what have i been doing seriously?! Why do i have to wait till the last few days before i really start cramping everything. SERIOUSLY, IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME?

to be honest, I'm already in my third year of this course, and i still find COMPLETELY NO INTEREST in any area.