discrete like digital.

i just got back my lab report. guess what i got 52% zzzz.

the marker is some post grad, and he/she got serious problem.

according to the marking scheme, there are several sections and subsection and each have allocated marks like 5/3/4 etc.

so apparently, the marker mark as though he/she is doing digital, discrete individual values. in non EEE term, means for the sub section, it's either u get it or not. i.e. either 5 marks or zero, no in-between values!!! which i find EXTREMELY RIDICULOUS! how stupid is that. i shall term this discrete digital marking. stupid.

have a kit-kat.

just done with today paper. one of the worst so far i think.

last night was a nightmare. the last minute cramming of stuff into my head. total panic. stayed in the library till 2am finally understood the concepts.

today's paper was tough on the easier subject. it was really tough for me. serious. i have no idea why the department decided to combine 2 courses into 1 paper. when both courses have NO LINK at all, and one of it is extremely hard to digest. and these made my concepts all mixed up and couldn't switch my mind in time when doing the other questions. Even till now i still cant figure out certain questions.

but now i can only forget about the paper and get going with the next few. which are going to be tougher. not monday's paper though. monday's should be easy, from my knowledge. the subsequent ones, another few rounds or turmoil again.

but i think i need a break. i shall finish reading and revising (for once i can really revise on the course, cos most of the others, i'm just learning for the first time.) monday's paper: Digital Electronic, by today, then take a short break. watch a movie, have an early night/swim/do nothing/chill, whatever that gives me a break.

by the way, something nice to share with. have u guys read the news about the US NASA mission of sending the space craft 'Phoenix' to the Mars to test the Martian Soil for water, ice or lives. and one of my departments lecturer, who's course is one of the most hated course: Electronic Materials , by the students, it being the most complex course of all. by the lecturer, Dr Tom Pike is the leader in the UK NASA team, which produced some silicon edging material to test the Martian soil in very high resolution of dust/particles. nothing much, just feel something great that my course lecturer from imperial is involved in a world's known space exploration mission. cool isn't it? anyways, A typical Martian Day = 24 hours and 38 minutes. how i wish the earth day hours could be like this too.

back to digital electronics. 1000 0110 0110 1001 0011 1110 0111 1111 0000 1010

breaking free.

anyway during lunch just now after the paper.

i was thinking that 2 weeks from now. the exact time. 1200h GMT. TWO WEEKS. i'll be freeeeeeeee. and i'm BREAKING FREE.

it just goes on and on.

the paper is over. like literally. i was not as hard, not as easy either. and guess what. my morale now is being tarnised all the way to rock bottom. this paper suppose to be a morale booster for me. but it turned out. after that paper, i realised i have TOO MUCH careless mistakes. way too much. silly dumb stupid careless mistakes. about 20% or more? crap.

well, i just have to forget about it and prepare for the next paper on friday. my chance of getting a first is now ≈ 0.

sequence.

the war shall continue tmr.

i just did 2 other past years papers, and i realised i got pwn-ed. totally. the more i do, the less confident i am of getting at least 80% for tomorrow's paper. the more i do, the more i mix up my fundamentals, theories and my brain. totally mixed up.

and i realised i havent really TOUCH much on friday's paper, which is a combined paper of 2 courses. crap. and the subsequent paper are totally not PREPARED AT ALL. yay. im screwed. bah.

i hope i can wake up in time for tomorrow's paper. if not.

out of Ampere. (i meant boredom.)

a picture speaks a thousand words.

lifeless.

i realised i have no life. i stay in the library for the past 2 days from 4 plus pm to 3 plus am. almost 11 hours a day. typical of a NO LIFE student (say mr safos, to me).

i rather have no life for the next 3 weeks, including my twentyfirst birthday :((, then to fail to be promoted next year. =/. fcuk.

sing to the dawn.

time now 4.17 am GMT. i just got back to my room from the library. it was raining on the way back, what a typical london's weather. i looked out of my window, and guess what. the skies are brightening up and the SUN IS RISING! GDI. im turning nocturnal. bah. bedtime now and i dont feel sleepy at all, must be the mocha just now.

when i was walking down from the 5th floor of the library earlier, the thought of the imperial library being 24 hours opened made me miss those time when we spent out entire day at AMK library during the A's period. those were the days when we can only stay until 8pm when the librarians start to chase you out of the library by 7.50pm. those were the days when we, many a times tried to counter the 'devils' within us, but to no avail. those were the days when we will take bus from amk interchange to the coffeeshop outside kw's place to have dinner/supper then dota. those were the days went we spent every shillings we have on either 4D, Toto or bigsweep. when we never every recuperate the losses despite a few wins a couple of times.(stupid iBet system). those were the days when we visit the nearby courts and queue up to play the xbox revenge burnout. those were the days when we always have good food at the amk food centre - kw and his never ending 'well' of yong tau hu/laksa + half a dozen of tangyuan; ck and his forever-rival satay beehoon; tw and his lemon chicken rice?; hj and his 'everything-taste-like-shit-food'; kokhong and aj ice kachang; last but not least kelvin and his 'always-come-during-lunch time' and his comic beneath TYS/text book' and those were also the days we always find a hard time trying to get a clean seat, and the cleaning aunty always dao us.(kw remember the old woman in wheelchair trying to sell u the tissue paper and always guai lan u? LOL). those were the days when we take turns to come before 10am to get good seats at the library. those were the days when we got our enlistment letters and laugh at each other. and those were the days when somehow somewhat somewhere sometime someone decided to classify me as a pet just cause of some twister cracker, bitch. those were the days that we cant wait for the days after A's. those were the days when u never ever thought of going amk ever again in you entire life. those were the days when we never ever thought that we will miss those days, or rather i will miss those days. those were the days.

those were the days that we missed dearly.

P.S. sorry for the emo part dudes.

100 years of magical world.

now is 1am in the london, sunday. a normal typical sunday. most people will probably in their dreamland, doing some typical weekend entertainment/party, so some other room activities (use ur own imagination). and me?

in the Central Library of Imperial College London, 5th level, a corner under that aircon which switched on suddenly for no reason. damn. reading a pdf format of a book called Advance Engineering Mathematics by K.A. Stroud. trying to recall all the math i've learn for the past 21 years of my life and i realised how MUCH i've forgotten. a person used to top in math in class or even the level succumbed to a stage to struggle to recall that he has learnt a few years ago, and hoping he can pass his 2 x 3 hours papers which weight 18% in total for his first year. (sorry for the super bad sentence structure =/).

i just paid £4.60 for a bottle of 300ml 京都念慈埯川贝琵琶膏.

please let me love math once again. please please please. :(




by the way, back to what i wanted to write about. im in the library and the wonder of wifi here, which doesn't have ANY bandwidth limit! this means unlimited downloads. while studying, i left my limewire on, and voila! magical downloads. i downloaded tons of disney movies and songs, and YES walt disney. :) all adding to all my disney collection. (by the way, disney is celebrating their 100th birthday in case you don't know. :)

and of course other movies. but i still couldn't manage to dl harold and kumar. damn.

bah. back to stroud. may stroud be with me.

lost in momentum.

i lost it all today. yes everything. today was crap. slept at 5am, cos of the coffee i drank last night during dinner. woke up at 1 plus pm. went to sch tried looking for my tutor to get back my lab report, he was playing hide and seek. went to library. cant study. cant understand that OP AMP topic. what nullator + norator = nullor equivalence. spent 3 hours trying to understand half of the notes, but nothing. tried doing the questions, cant understand at all. went home after that. i think i need a break. i think im screwed.

btw i came across this song on the radio. this is the most annoying song i ever encountered. and guess what. it's topping the UK chart currently. nothing's nice in this song except from 2:08 - 2:29. other than that. haha enjoy



and i feel fcuking home sick now. and im super emo-ing now. damn.

out of something.

i was too stressed out mugging, trying so solve some complex circuit and decided to take a break. and i was planning what to buy when i get back. and i realised im short of cash!

taking my salary into account: june, july, august and sept - should provide me with AT LEAST S$6K of cash.

so here's my list of things i NEED/WANT:

1. CANON EOS 450D : ~ S$1500
2. Apple Care for Macbook Pro: ~S$650
3. Driving lessons + test: ~S$1000??
4. House rent: ~$1050

all these make me left with S$1800. =/ gosh im so dead. i've not included miscellaneous such as food, clothing, transport and entertainment.

someone help me please. i need to rob a bank. how am i gonna survive in london for the next 3 years with no bonuses. -.-

c'mon SAF, treat ur soldiers/sailors better please. they're struggling hard while trying to SERVE and PROTECT this GREAT NATION of PEACE (where's the PROSPERITY?) =/

way into it.

first paper down. it was okay. i know i can pass. but that's was not what i looked for. i want a first class. if i have been consistent, or just do the bloody tutorial last term, i could have easily gotten a first. procrastination and plain laziness.

next, today was my radio viva (aka oral assessment). the marker said my radio was good, good reception, aerial, but the demodulation could be better if the RC is higher blah blah.. some points here and there. he gave me a 70%. he said i could have gotten like 80+% if i've done here and there. and he said that was a B+ which i'm still puzzled now.

amazing drive in my these 2 days. must be the first paper, the actual doing of the paper itself gave the drive. u know, those feeling when u just write and write and solve and solve. the kind of momentum that i was longing for all these while. im getting a little of it now. hope it will better soon. i still need to cramp 7 subjects in 1 week+ some days in between. next paper is on this coming wed, and the rest will follow, fast-and-furious-ly. 11 june, 12 noon is the time im waiting for. and the next is 23rd june 9.15pm when i leave london heathrow, and 24th june 5.15pm. when i touch the GREAT NATION which i serve with PRIDE, HONOUR, GLORY and DEDICATION. =/. 1 month 2 days more to go. cheers.

procrastination.

watch this

Procrastination.

this is what i've done to my desktop, so that i will turn away from it when im studying. it simply turns me off. =/

Schrödinger.

it's almost 33 hours to my next paper. or rather my first real paper, other than that management crap.

first paper in 2 years other than A's. this is the first time im feeling so unprepared (other that my J2 JCT when i got EFFF9 =/) .

the first time i havent really finish studying everything before the exam. and i mean everything. not even 25% i think. crap.

now...
∫∫y^2∂A=2nd moment of the cantilever..

ˆƒø˜¬¥ ˇÓˆÍ ˆß ßøµ´†˙ˆ˜© ˆ ®´å¬¬¥ ¬øv´! ÎŘ ˆ†! 

switch mode.

yes. im completely switching to mugging mode from now onwards. zero polo training for the next 3 weeks until 11 june! :(((( i will miss my beloved paddle.

i think i injured (re-injured rather) my right shoulder today. cant shoot properly at all. these 3 weeks might be a blessing in disguise. i can use this time to recuperate my shoulder. yes. today was okay. did my best. quite pissed at certain moments by that someone again. but haha i pwned them. :))

mug mug mug. tmr full gear.

something not very pleasant. my fellow hallmate lost my kitchen key. gdi. now i have to wait for my roomate to return. talking about responsibility here.

i cant wait for 11 june 12 noon to come. but. i hope time will stop now. so i can finish studying and learning everything. note: it's not revision, it's learning. =/

spot the difference.

my friend just showed me this website recommending the sweeties of the world. and guess one i found.

this chocolate that looks like my veroboard(circuit board). -.-

MarieBelle Mayan Chocolate Bar (no sugar added)



my radio. bird-eye view


the back of it. my poor soldering.


now u see why im not so interested in this course?

and that piece of chocolate simple turns me off. =/

P.S. i've got a sugar rush today. i bought 2 x 600g of Maynards Wine Gums and 5 x 215g of Bassetts Jelly Babies. :)

nightmare.

i had a nightmare last night. a really bad one.

i dreamt that SOMEONE BROKE MY PADDLE. !!!!!!!! she was playing with it as though it was WUSHU and the feather BROKE. and somehow it was ... WOODEN? okay that's not the point. but IT WAS BROKEN! ONE OF THE FEATHER! and i was so upset about it. i asked her to pay me one the exact same one which has 'MADE IN HOLLAND' on it. BUT SHE REFUSED. i was so FUMED. and angry. then i woke up.

phew. lucky it was only a dream. :S

my radio finally is receiving something. there were sound. but im not sure if it can be tuned to any station. i need to double check it again. everything seems okay but im just not sure how to test the individual part. im thinking of changing my Op Amp to a gain of 200 instead of the current 20. cos the output is just WAY too soft.i hope everything goes fine tmrw.

tmrw is my last training session before my exams. or rather that is what i've set for myself. this means I HAVE TO PUT IN MY BEST TMRW. and trash everyone on the opposing team. and i will. Double Dutch rules.

still not working.

my radio still fails. after much testing and testing. the amplifier finally works. then now the tuning circuit fails. first BJT of the cascode got saturated due to low collector voltage and high base voltage. this means my 200H inductor is BURNING from the 0.2A current that is flowing in my tuning circuit. now i have to supply a 6V to my tuning circuit instead of 9V, and 4V to base voltage of first BJT. crap. there's alot of work to do. i just de-solder 1/4 of my circuit and cramp the new parts in, without soldering them yet. i hope it will work after this modification.

i should just learnt from the seniors - to copy the designs from their seniors, to get a working FM radio and and A, instead of designing it myself, getting a B+ for design and nothing for workability. shall try it once more tomorrow, if not i'll just give up. bah.

endurance.

sometimes, somethings really just pissed me off totally. im known for quite a tolerant guy as compared to many. but sometimes, somethings, overtime of accumulation, just make me really irritated.

people being inconsiderate for others' well being, feelings, failure to plan things, not taking the initiative, uncivilized and total lack of social etiquette. i know this is the civilian world, not the military. people have their own rights and choices, and we have no right to say and criticize.

i'm glad that im moving into a new house next year, new people, new environment.

this exam stress is really getting into me. making me anti social and very short-fused. very. sometimes, you just want to be alone and anti social, isn't it? this is like girl's PMS. im lucky that im a guy. very grateful about it.

4 more weeks to the end. the end of exams, the end of everything. the start of something new.


by the way, something really inspiring here.
David Belle - The Speed Airman

and

Sungha Jung - 'More Than Words'

a new .. start?

YES. I FINALLY GOTTEN MY DOUBLE DUTCH POLO KINETIC PADDLE! wooohooo!

today's training was AWESOME with my new touch of double dutch :)

just made blueberry new york cheesecake and, tiramisu. i have a very bad feeling about the tiramisu.

first, i soak the savioardis for tooooo long. slightly. then. i added a bit TOOOO much RUM. and i forgot to add sugar. i hope it will turn out well. *cross fingers, toes, arms and legs* there goes my reputation. miracle tiramise PLEASE!?

bon jovi, go away.

had a bad day. YES. woke up late yesterday. woke up late today. actually i was early. i woke up at 6.57am. but it was way too early. the next time i know it was 10.46am. crap. i practically missed ALL the lessons of the day. insomnia is KILLING me. the headache is KILLING me too. the weather is KILLING me too. too hot and stuffy to really study. have to go to sch's library, or rather my department's computer lab to study where there is air conditioning. around 10 days to my first major paper. NOT PREPARED at all. CRAP.

POLO today. was crap. cant do a proper dip turn. cant do a proper shot from half court. cant to a proper sprint. cant score a freaking goal. CANT DO A FCUKING HANDROLL/BALLROLL, and have to end up swimming. damn it. freaking for fouled and illegal-ed so many times.

GIVE ME SOME MOTIVATION AND DRIVE PLEASE!

focal point.

i NEED and i MUST focus. FOCUS. FOCUS. despite the flu/fever/sore throat. bloody FOCUS. DAMN.

a new hope?

right. today i woke up late. DAMN late. im supposed to have my lab session at 9am to build my radio circuit, and guess what, i woke up at 10.30am. which means i reached school at 11-ish and left with only 1 hour to do my radio. crap. did some last minute soldering and it was not very nice. soldering is not as easy as it sees. not at all. imagine holding a 320ºC soldering gun on ur right hand, the solder on ur left hand, the pinkies of ur both hands holding on the circuit board, the ring finger of ur left hand supporting the resistor/capacitor/wire or whatever part. i think i need 4 hands to do that.

okay, speaking of waking up late. the reason is because i slept at 4am-ish last night? cos i was discussing with my other navy mates about OSIM triathlon. oh well, we decided to join the Olympic Distance Relay. so we were discussing who to do what and the name of the team. since we are all of the same batch, we called ourselves: "decktwo56th", but somehow we changed to "56thDeckTwo" cos the osim decided to employ some stupid lousy web designer who came up with a system full of bugs. oh well, guess what im doing? right. swimming. 1.5km at east coast. again. i wanted to challenge myself this time to do the bike leg, but somehow, i was the chosen one the swim. -.- oh well, not that i cant swim, but i just wanted to try something new: like the 40km bike leg. the last time i really swam was like ... 5 months ago? this means i shld start training soon, right after exams. 1.5km in the sea of EAST COAST is no fun at all. but we gonna do it right? lol.

exams exams. haven recovered since friday? the sore throat is like here and there. you get what i mean. but i just ate like 2 packets of mini doritos! haha. oh well, this is the best combination i ever had. guys u MUST try this. IT'S AWESOME. get tortilla chips (a.k.a. nachos) dip in kraft Philadelphia cheese then in thai sweet chilli. TRUST ME. kraft Philadelphia does have the weirdest but the best creation ever.

one more thing! i just booked my flight back!!! wohooo! im leaving london on the 23rd night, 9pm-ish, and reaching HOME HOME on the 24th 5pm! YES!

now, back to my notes on Analysis of Circuits by Old Man Dr. David Haigh. =/

wake me up.

wooots! guess what, i woke up today at 12pm and my whole upper body was aching! yes! and im loving this kind of aching. not too intensive to torture me, but good enough. haha. it must be the 3 hour intensive training yesterday! i must say it was reallllllllllly good. with our new coach training us, new techniques and tactics. even though most of us or rather all of us are already dead at the last hour! haha. i hope to have more of this training man. so i can be STRONGER. machiam kurosaki ichigo eh? muahahahahahahah!

sundays!

i love sundays! and i love today! woooohoo! nice weather of 16ºC in the afternoon and evening. 3 full hours of intensive canoe polo training by our NEW coach! and finally FINALLY settled my household issues! except a tiny weeny bit of the rental but wont be that much i think. heh.

and today was a GREAT day! and tmrw's a bank holiday means no sch! even though i didnt study at all today, and i still having slight fever. but it was great! woots.

on a note, i hope my paddles will come these 2 days man. seriously, i cant wait to touch my paddle.

by the way, i got a strong feeling that the paddles are still in netherlands. ok this is the story. on friday, the guy who i've been contacting with for my paddles finally replied me. apparently, he just return from france on a business trip and he HAS NO IDEA IF THE PADDLES WERE BEING SENT! cos there were 2 major national holiday in holland so all the shops and COURIERS were closed, that's what he said. speaking about the FRIENDLY dutch. so he's going back to office on monday which is tomorrow to check on the situation and update me. damn. this is really taking too slow. i cant wait. cant wait! it better come before the next training one wed if not... if not.. there's nothing else i can do. =/.

ok good night peeps. im gonna sleep now so i can recover fast and study! :)

virus.

im falling sick. must be the long study hours in sch, super unhealthy meals of pasta everyday to save time, and insufficient sleep. crap. wrong time to fall sick man. argh!